Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Playing Catch - Up

Wow. Here it is. The year is almost over and I have NOT posted A THING since February. :-/

Well, now that I actually know how to change the memory card in my camera (after weeks of frustration... gah) I can now take more pictures with which I can do a better job of updating all my sites like this one and Ravelry. More knitting and more kitties. :)

2009 was an OK year. I'm hoping next year will be MUCH better. I'm looking forward to paying off my car and my employer for Matty's end-of-life care.

For those who don't know, I lost my Himi Matty this past April. He had a number of things go wrong simultaneously, including a gut that stopped working and a possible (unconfirmed) brain tumor which may have been at the root of his problems. It was AGONIZING going through last Spring and whenever I'm feeling stressed or depressed I'm REALLY missing my rock. I haven't gotten another cat just yet because I'm still trying to pay down quite a bit of debt and I'm also living without the guilt of hiding an extra pet from my apartment complex. Plus Nicky is a handful. Really want to adopt an older or a special needs kitty but he might push them over the edge stress-wise so I'm going to have to give this some careful thought...

Work is work and work is a drama-laden ball of stress. I feel like I spend more time trying to recooperate and fend off all the non-patient-care-related baloney than I actually do working and I don't know if I'm hoping beyond hope at this point of it ever getting better. On the bright side, there are quite a few new hires being brought on board which gives me some hope that there will be down-to-earth grown-ups to work with. Here's hoping!

On the medical front, I've been dealing with two major issues: ADD and gastroparesis.

I was diagnosed with gastroparesis last Christmas. Apparently I must either have a mild form of it or at least in the early stages of it. A Certified Nutritionist I saw in August was surprised to find that I could still tolerate solid foods because a lot of people with this problem have a pacemaker, J-tube or both. My particular condition is idiopathic since I've never been diabetic. Right now I take liquid Erythromycin throughout the day and Phenergan at night. So far I manage but every now and again I have to spend the day in bed with stomach pains. Giving some serious thought to trying a vegetarian/vegan diet to see if that makes a difference. With the way that beef is being cultivated and processed in this country, I'm willing to give it a go. I'm going to try the 21-Day Vegan Kickstart on January 1st. Wish me luck!

ADD has been something I've had my whole life but wasn't diagnosed with until about 5 years ago. Boy, is it frustrating! I HATE IT. Trying to find information on how to deal with it, or even a support group, is difficult because everything out there is child-related. I've been going for Neurofeedback for most of the year but it doesn't do anything for my memory retention or my poor attention span. It has, however, been helpful in the fact that I've noticed how I deal with stress and social situations. That has improved, at least. I don't get stressed out by people as much as I used to and that's been a BIG help. I've been more laid-back. But I tell you, I must have the most un-ADD-friendly job ON THE PLANET and keeping it a secret is stifling. Every error and mistake is noted and made a fuss over and the pressure is constantly on for me to continue to pass for normal when, in the eyes of the law, I am considered disabled. ADD falls under the jurisdiction of the Americans With Disabilities Act of 1976 so luckily I'm protected but it's a heavy weight to bear, I kid you not. Gah.

Knitting wise, I have started my first REAL sock by myself (yippee skippee!) and on DPNs to boot. I found some skeins of Deborah Norville sock yarn at my local JoAnn Fabrics and I couldn't resist the color patterns. I have been steering clear of sock yarn until now because I'm just plain intimidated by sock knitting but I'll give it a go now.

And yes, I'm still working on the Weasley sweater! I did get to knock out some chemo caps and baby singlets though so that's a plus!

Well, I was actually able to make a trip back home to NY in October. It was depressing. Ghosts and tumbleweeds everywhere! Although I did get to connect with some dear friends I haven't seen in ages. Thank heaven for Facebook.

I haven't been in much contact with my mother since I got back. She's just very demanding and, most of the time, very manipulative so I've kept the phone off the hook. She never listens to my requests with regard to NOT call me on days that I work so no phone at all. If it were up to her, we'd be on the phone all the time and that doesn't gel with me. Too suffocating. Called her to wish her a Happy Thanksgiving and she pretty much gave me the silent treatment. So now I'm debating on whether or not to call for Christmas. Thankfully I have to work. Never thought I would actually admit that.

So I've had some Christmas presents that I brought home with me sitting in my living room awaiting the arrival of the Holiday.

And unfortunately Nicky can't wait to open them. Good grief, kitty!