Feeling Worn and Torn

Well, it's one more week until my CVC Central conference trip and it can't come a moment too soon. Work is truly wearing me out. Or should I say, the ATMOSPHERE is wearing me out.

The irony is: it's been REALLY SLOW. Hardly any patients at all. YAWN.

I got a message from a coworker (with whom I seem to have, whether I like it or not, a like-hate relationship with) telling me that it was my turn to have a night off and that if I was needed I would be called in later. Good. No bullsh*** from her to deal with. But it threw off my body clock again...

No matter where I go to find employment, there always seems to be someone who takes innate pleasure in trying to bully me in order to make themselves feel better. I'm not imagining this: it's TRUE. It's the untold secret of workplace social culture. The fact that I'm also not much of a workplace "player" makes things WORSE because people don't know me very well, nor do they have an interest in doing so because I don't play "the game". At least, not by their rules anyway.

Anyway, we've been at this since May 2007 when she came back from a birthday vacation on the "outs" with one of her closest friends at the time. She's treated me with the hot-n-cold contempt that the friend was doing to her apparently. They had a major fallout, hate each other now and said friend (who also happened to be another coworker) eventually left for another job, but it had nothing to do with their fight.

To make a long story short, she still takes out her anger and frustrations on her MySpace page, making veiled references to me on occasion through her mood updates or survey bulletins. Unfortunately, neither of these features can be deleted from your account and I have a hard time ignoring them as I am in touch with a lot of nonprofits I like to keep in the loop about.

(For the record: she became a contact of mine BEFORE all this nonsense happened - me being naive as I was when I first started working there...)

So, being tired of all the negativity I've been reading, I'm ditching the old page for a new one since there are other contacts I'm no longer in touch with anyway and starting fresh. No sense in being proverbally chased away when I have as much right to enjoy the Web as much as anyone else. I plan on finishing this transition shortly before I take off next week. Maybe I'll do the same for the Facebook page too. She's not on there, but there's just so much clutter....

OK. I feel better now that I've gotten that off my chest and can move on to better things. :)

TWILIGHT: OK, yes I am now officially addicted to reading the series that I've held off reading for so long. It was like that with Harry Potter, too. I kept holding off on reading them because I got weary of all the (over) hoopla, that I think I held off just for the sake of it. But, at least the whole series is out now and I can polish them off consecutively without having to wait for the next installment to come out. Hmm, good thing or bad thing?

Started the first book, Twilight, this week and am halfway done. Working on my Twilight knitting swap project too. Bringing it to SnB tonight for some pointers on how and where to pick up stitches 'cause I'm still dense when it comes to reading knitting patterns. :-P

Here's what I'm working on:



Of course, followed by the obligatory kitty shot. Heh.

Lesson Learned from the Past

Well, pink sock had be euthanized with a good old-fashioned frogging. It was just too warped looking, even to stuff with catnip and call it George. Yes, that UGLY. So now it's an official Ravelry UGH. RIP.

Got a new schedule change at work. Now I'm supposed to be in 3 hours earlier and leave 3 hours earlier, which may wind up to be curse rather than a blessing. Now, instead of dealing with one set of strong personalities I get to deal with a completely different set. And ALL the stupid-ass politics that come with. Which includes a CLIQUE. ACES....

But I am getting ready for my trip to Kansas City MO for the CVC Central conference and making some professional connections with other member of IVAPM (International Veterinary Academy of Pain Management) so I'm totally psyched. Getting my travellables together, hopefully my knitting project for Twilight Knitting Swap and got me some business cards for networking.

I happened to have found some old photos that were taken before I left NY of my little neonate Emily before she passed on. These pictures are wonderful but come with a twinge of sorrow attached. If she had survived (she had become septic and none of the doctors I knew would help me with her because "Mom abandoned her for a reason") we would've been able to celebrate her 5th birthday this upcoming October.



I decided to make this one the cover of my new business cards, courtesy of MOO. They did a wonderful job, I think.

The one thing I learned about this whole experience is to become a better advocate for those who cannot advocate for themselves. I've seen better neonatal kitten rearing resources out now that weren't available when I had Emily so I'm going to be making a library and be better prepared, just in case I get blessed again with another kitten raising opportunity.

Playing catch-up ...

Well, don't know why the widget I tried to have put on this site showed up as a blog but I'm now writing a real post so hopefully that will get bumped. :)

Back to work this week after a reprieve. I think I need another one because it's even MORE stressful now than it was when I was last there. BAH! Thankfully I just started a 6 week yoga class. Hopefully that will help things.

Making progress on my Training Sock. I took it out with me to the 1st Annual Durham Stitch n Pitch at the Bulls game Wednesday night. Have no idea who won because I was more enthralled with "wrestling the porcupine" than I was watching the game. And the bag of knitting goodies the organizer had put together for us. She rocks!

Now, either I'm REALLY a beginner at this sock knitting thing or the pattern is written a little wonky. But no matter, it's looking OK. It's good practice. And a future cat toy. Heh.


And it's NOT going to be Nicky's if he doesn't stop looking away from the camera EVERY SINGLE TIME I try to take his photo - ARGH!

Demo - Personal Cause Widget

My New Knitting Project - Wrestling the Porcupine!!!

Happy 4th of July!

Last night I did something I haven't been able to do in a long time, and WAY overdue I may add. I got to make it out for my Thursday night SnB and see some old friends that I really missed and make a new one that was kind enough to shows me how to start off my FIRST EVER sock. With DPNs. Which I've NEVER done. Yay!



As a tip from another new knitter friend from my OTHER knitting group, I downloaded the Training Sock Pattern on Knitty by Kate Atherley to just get a feel for the basics 'cause I have no clue what I'm doing. Perfect patten for me. Heh.

Just before anyone asks, yes I belong to more than one SnB. They're like cats -- you can never have enough. ;-)

So I got the scrap yarn, pink stuff from the ol' stash-a-roo. Check. US size 7/4.5mm DPNs. Check. I'm good to go. The best part is I don't care how many messups I make because that's what this is all about. When it's done, it's getting stuffed with catnip for my little miss anyway.


I think the next thing I'm gonna try to work on is something for The Snuggles Project, of which I'm a member. They've got some basic snuggle patterns I'm gonna look through and I've found a couple of shelters in their database that accept snuggles. Now, I'm getting psyched!

That will be my knitting goal for the week. If I'm lucky in the upcoming weeks and months to come, I'll be able to control the body clock better and make it to more weeknight stuff because I need to de-stress and have a life.

I'm also trying to plow through my laundry-list of library books. Still working on An Inconvenient Truth but since the new Sookie Stackhouse book is way overdue, I'm trying to finish that up first. Charlaine Harris write a Southern Vampire series which, except for the last book, is pretty good. So far, this new one's a good one. I think it's called From Dead to Worse but I don't have it directly in front of me so I can't confirm. HBO is turning it into a series this Fall. OK, now I want HBO on top of Planet Green and Showtime. Time to upgrade the cable package!

One more major thing on my to-do list is to follow up with some comments and suggestions from my petitions on Care2's Petition Site (see sidebars widgets, DID YOU SIGN?!?!?!?). Actually, the feedback is mostly from the horrific website I'm trying to get shut down. I'll keep you all posted. Fingers crossed!

Doing Better, One Step at a Time

Did get to go out for SnB on Sunday and glad that I did. Got to meet up with some good friends and make a couple of new ones. I have some time off to enjoy this week so I might actually get to see my Thursday night SnB peeps too. That would be awesome, since I haven't seen them in a good 4 to 5 months when I last had time off.

Well, I'm happy to report that the work badness that occurred last week has resolved better than I had hoped it would. Can't go into any details because it's too personal but I'm looking forward to (I'm hoping) some improvements all around. Strangely enough, I feel a lot stronger and more in control of things in general. And I've gotten to the point where I'll be putting up with a lot less happy horses*** from people whose behavior I deem unprofessional or just downright unacceptable.

OK. I've said my peace here. Now onward and upward! :-)

Now that I've some personal time to recharge, time to look into compiling and finishing my "laundry list" of things to do, including some quality time at the ZOO - HA!

And to finally finish reading Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth. I keep getting reminders from my 43 Things account asking how my progress is. Oops!

To SnB, or Not To SnB

Every Sunday morning, my SnB in Durham meets at a local coffee house. Actually, it should be renamed Stitch-n-Laugh-Our-Asses-Off because that's REALLY what goes on. HA!

Unfortunately, due to my work schedule (which may change, depending how you look at it. Another post.), I haven't been able to make it because I've been too tired to get MY ass out of the apartment to go have some people time.

I happened to have had the week off so I'm rested but yesterday was bad because my stomach was acting up again. I have a sensitive system that likes to inform me at the last minute possible what's acceptable to consume, and what isn't. Yesterday, it was 2 cups of coffee (oh, the irony...). So when I wasn't lying down or trying to read a book I was getting rid of coffee (which through hindsight I think now were actually blood clots) and half a small bottle of extra strength bismuth (aka the "pink" stuff).

My body is still feeling a bit "don't leave the apartment JUST in case" residual feeling. So I'm still debating whether or not to make the 30 minute trip.

Maybe not. I haven't picked up the sweater in a month. I'm not sure I remember where I left off and I have no backup project to take with me either.

But I do need people time. I don't get enough of it outside of work. We'll see.

I'll keep you posted. :)